totally just blue myself

4 Feb

Uhhhhhnnnnggggggghhhhhhhhhh.   I can’t use the phrase “blew it” without thinking of Tobias…so let’s just say I blue it today.

Let me describe the relevant parts of my day to you.

Wake up at 9.  Coffee w/ skim around 10.  Do some easy work (editing documents and emailing off to the right people).

My darling boyfriend makes me breakfast at about 10:30, but it is rather animal-heavy.  2 eggs, 2 T light cheese, 2/3 or so of a chicken sausage (a banger in the mouth?), FF sour cream.

Go to Zumba at 12:30. (Awesome as usual!)

Shower, laze around, still not hungry with all that protein in my belly…

What should I do for the rest of this day off which is quickly turning out to be extremely unproductive?

FRO-YO, obviously.

Ah, but first, my brain tells me, you need real food.  And you have been so good about making smart choices, and it’s sort of the weekend already.  Let’s go to that burger joint!  Yes, I can modify whatever I get to be healthyish.

MMmmmmMM.  I order the “Storm Burger.” And at first I try to eat just the chicken breast and avocado, first by taking off the top half of the kaiser bun and folding back the underside bun and trying to balance it as an open-faced sandwich, sans the bottom bread part.  Messy.  So I put it back together and try to squeeze the innards out between the two pieces of bread.  Even gooier.  So I go back to the original plan, and make a compromise by just eating the damn bottom half of the bun with the rest of the burger.  (I should mention there were no forks available.)  Oh, plus the cup or so of sweet potato fries.  SO GOOD.

Alright, so I’m not beating myself up yet.  I avoided a whole lot of carbs by giving that top bun to J, which he gladly smeared with Rooster Sauce and devoured.  On to the main attraction: NEW FRO-YO SELF SERVE SHOP.

We get there and I am, literally, a kid in a candy store.  I had already looked up their flavors online, and saw there were several low-carb and no sugar added, nonfat options.  This particular store only had one low-carb flavor available.  I’d like to stop right here and say that self-serve is probably a bad idea for me.  Something about the freedom to pour any amount of eight different delicious flavors into my cup, and then being faced with five hundred toppings and fruits and syrups…it felt like self-sabotage, despite my good intentions.

Anyway, I went with mostly that low-carby chocolate flavor plus a squirt of the espresso.  Plus more toppings than I’d care to remember, but probably should…dark chocolate mini-chips, peanut M&Ms, coconut, golden grahams, mini dark chocolate raspberry cups, and sugar-free hot fudge.  OH MAN.

The car ride home was long because of Friday rush hour traffic, so I had plenty of time to consider the damage that had been done while logging it into e-tools.  All in all, my eggy breakfast, chicken burger, sweet potato fries, and fro-yotastrophe came in at 38 points for the day.  Not sure I can fit in any vegetables today.  The laws of physics in my abdomen constrain me.

So, my point count was not ridiculous.  But I made bad choices, and the timing was weird.  A couple of gigantically filling meals is not as satisfying as several small ones.  And I don’t feel great.  I am aware of the feeling now that overstuffing myself, especially with sweet things, doesn’t end well.  That momentary gustatory rush is far overshadowed by the sense of “BLLERRHHGGG” I’m getting now.

I think what’s abating the guilt is the fact that I actually worked out hard today.  And a lady complimented my butt? That was weird.  Couldn’t tell if she was coming on to me or just telling me I was doing a good job shaking my ass during all those shimmies.

Oh well.  Even though I screwed up today, the good thing is I don’t feel derailed.


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